i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free
that’s called night robbery
so be it
imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.
Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.
mum i’m moving out
relationship goal: a relationship
i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside im actually angrier
THE MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED JOKE OF ALL TIME
the truth is out there
nicknames/mottos (a more truthful version): countries
SO THIS HAPPENED TODAY. #happyMary #nosering #piercedlife #iloveit
After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”
what did i just read
Irish women are strong as fuck
I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal
do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad
gETTING HUGGED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY TALLER AND BIGGER THAN YOU IS AMAZING
ITS LIKE BEING WRAPPED IN A BIG WARM PROTECTIVE HEAT BLANKET AND ITS WONDERFUL
HUGGING PEOPLE THAT ARE LITTLER THAN YOU IS GREAT TOO LIKE THEY FIT PERFECTLY IN YOUR ARMS AND THEY’RE LITTLE AND ADORABLE AND REMINISCENT OF HUGGING A SMALL ANIMAL
JUST HUGGING PERIOD
what i did in graphic design class today is
this has 70,200 notes and you’re all fucking dead to me
getting turnt af with the holy spirit
I don’t know how you could ever be more sterotypically innocent than to be a 91-year-old Vatican librarian. How do you have 8 pounds of fucking coke in your car.